i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize