dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
