Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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