she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
