How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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