I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I think I died a long time ago.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
