That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
