i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
