Where did you get a picture of my penis
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize