so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
