on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Come share oat with me in your robe
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
