If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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