Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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