Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
