life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
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