So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
