I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
