there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
