I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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