dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Where are you guys?
Drunk
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
