Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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