The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So much Jack, so little girl.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
