no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i believe in u and ur pee
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
