You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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