I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
