Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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