the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
