If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
