bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
