Cold hands, warm shart.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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