some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
