Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
