Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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