It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
