Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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