Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
