mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
