Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
