around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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