My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
