i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
