Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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