i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
