so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
