The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
