508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
