what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
