and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
