He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
