if only i could text you this smell
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
