??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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