idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
