did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
