brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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