i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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