What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
