This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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