Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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