miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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