how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
