i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize