it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
